Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
