Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
