I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
