highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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