I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
