Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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