talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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