you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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