I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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