Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
