Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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