You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
