Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I have peed in a lot of sinks
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
