did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
