I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
