My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
