I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
