New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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