buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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