im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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