I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
