Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
