Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
