Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
