I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
