I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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