im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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