I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
