There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
