..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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