I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
