Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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