Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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