no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
