I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just googled if crying burns calories
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
