You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Boobs speak an international language.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
