her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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