and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
