hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
