im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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