hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
