I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
