and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
