I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
