Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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