just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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