like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
