I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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