I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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