fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
