Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
